i'm sick`

nono.. i didn't went out today... haha...

supposed to go out with ricky and gang... but communication break down somewhere so here am i, stuck at home.. =)

hahahahahaha...

been thinking much these few days... everything in me has been solved... accept for that one and only matter.... can anyone tell me how to untangle that knot in my heart...??

i'm sick of waiting for replies...
i'm sick of guessing what's on his mind...
i'm sick of planning the future... which only has me in the picture...
i'm sick of missing him...
i'm sick of pouring my woes to my friends...
i'm sick of having to try my every best to make sure things work out...
i'm sick of having to put on an happy front when i'm really sad because of him...
i'm sick of having to put in the extra effort to master my japanese just for him...
i'm sick of having to think ways and means to cut down expenses just to fly over to see him...
i'm sick of the fact that only me... who is doing something...
i'm sick of the stupid things that i've done just for an ignorant him...
i'm sick of myself who can't give him up...
i'm sick by the fact that.... i don't even understand him abit at all...
i'm sick that he seems like a stranger but yet... more than a stranger...



i'm sick of everything... regarding him...


忘れたい...

this will be the last time anything regarding him will appear in my blog...




i realised that how stupid and how stubborn i am... i can't come to terms with it... i keep on wishing for the impossible...

perhaps... or maybe, he'll still be in my mind...


but, for sure, i won't been mentioning him again... unless... he has done his part... that's nothing more i can do... in short, i've done what i could and what i should...





i'm sick...